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| Growing and maturing in every way |
Okay,
so my thoughts have been all over the place. The other day, we were
in a lesson, and my companion and the member were talking back and
forth for 20 minutes or so, but I couldn't participate in the
conversation because I've never been to the south of Italy and what not, and I
caught myself losing the spirit. Instead of letting my emotions get
the best of me, the clear thought came into my mind to "Just be
a stander, Katie (Sorella Beus...)." **
When
I decided to come on the mission, I imagined that there would be
those people I would meet, and I would think, “Woah, I came all the
way to Italy to be in THIS room, in THIS moment, with THIS person...”
but yeah, hasn't happened. Then, during the lesson I was describing
earlier, I had the comforting reassurance that I was called to be
Sorella Santoro's companion to just support her. I don't need to blow
people's socks off with the wonderful sentences I can say in Italian,
but simply, maybe I can just be someone else in the room who has the
spirit and can testify of the truth. I don't know how well I am
explaining myself. I guess all I can say is that I've come to terms
with the fact that I may not ever be THAT missionary who has all the
right things to say. Maybe I'll never be able to fully express
myself. But I am a really good “stander.” I can love like crazy
those with whom I interact. I can tell them that I appreciate them
and ask if there is anything I can do to help. I can offer prayers in
lessons and ask Heavenly Father to soften the hearts of those whom we
are teaching so that they can understand and be touched by our
message. I can bear pure testimony that I know that Joseph Smith is a
true prophet of God. I know that the Book of Mormon is true. I am not
ashamed to say I am Mormon. I am grateful for the knowledge I gain
every day just by being a part of this church.
I
know that there will be down days through the whole mission. We will
all feel inadequate at times. But, that is what the Atonement is for.
I know that we are not alone in this long road of developing our
talents and strengths. This week, find some
weakness you have and let the Savior direct you on that road of
making that weakness a strength. It is possible. I promise. :) Let me
know how it goes.
LOVE
you all... so much.
Sorella
Katie Beus
** She is referring to the last line of John Milton's Sonnet 16 he wrote upon becoming blind, "They also serve who only stand and wait." That phrase reminds me of temple workers who stand faithfully at their posts and of my beautiful Grandma Rich who was bedridden for many years, who couldn't stand at all, but never complained or lost her sweet testimony. The phrase "God doth not need either man's work or his own gifts: who best bear his mild yoke, they serve him best." also reminds me to bear, with patience, the trials I have been assigned so that I too, may serve Him best.") Full text of the poem below)
Sonnet 16 - By John Milton
When I consider how my light is spent
Ere half my days in this dark world and
wide,
And that one talent which is death to
hide
Lodg'd with me useless, though my soul
more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and
present
My true account, lest he returning
chide,
"Doth God exact day-labour, light
denied?"
I fondly ask. But Patience, to prevent
That murmur, soon replies: "God
doth not need
Either man's work or his own gifts:
who best
Bear his mild yoke, they serve him
best. His state
Is kingly; thousands at his bidding
speed
And post o'er land and ocean without
rest:
They also serve who only stand and
wait."
Although blind, John Milton went on to
write the epic poem, “Paradise Lost”