Why?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxqfDs-64I0 

This is from a wonderful song by Mercy Me about the question Why?....

From Katie this week:
Okay, this week has been full of the question "Why?" 

Like... Why did God want me here? Why did I need to serve in Italy? Why is this work SO hard? Why don't people listen? Why am I in LOVE with my mission? Why did I leave all my life behind for this? Why are there so many miracles?

I have found so much peace when I have asked myself these questions. I was thinking back to when I was doing my papers and put that I had studied Spanish. I had been hoping that somehow, some way, they would think to send me to Italy. I remember just hoping SO bad to come here. BUT, I was willing to go WHEREVER. That is the beautiful thing about being here. There isn't a more personal way that I feel my Savior's love other than the fact that He wanted me HERE. At this moment in missionary history. A time when there are more people prepared to hear the gospel than ever. I love thinking about all the feelings I felt while trying to decide to come on a mission. I distinctly remember conversations with everyone that is important to me. All those conversations left me wanting to be out in the field. They left me with a feeling of being incomplete without those experiences in my life. And that "incompleteness" fills up every day I am out here. Even when I think there is no room left in my little heart, someone or something slips right in as if it were meant to be there. I am still obsessed with my mission. :)

Last week for my birthday, we got to go to ward council. I am remembering sitting there being surrounded by the members and feeling so much love I could have burst into tears. Sometimes it AMAZES me how much more I want to cry on the mission. It's changed from crying because it is NOT what I expected to crying because it is WAY MORE than what I imagined. I love it.

This week, tons of people have asked us why we are here. I mean, it is so not normal that we come and leave everything behind to serve. People on the street have told us that they feel bad we are here in the north of Italy. They tell us, "The people are really cold here. I bet they don't listen or want to talk to you." It sometimes confuses me. They are so right! But our response has been that we aren't here to find those who don't want to listen...but those who hunger for more. The more rejections you get, the more "acceptions" you get. It is simple math! And while I may not be the best at talking to everyone, I have seen the miracles that come when we simply try.

Hmm...what else is on my mind...

That's it for now. If I think of anything else, I'll let you know. :)

Love,

Sorella Katie Beus